INTIMIDATION

We had another weekend off.  Minus snowing, it was a low-key week, and very relaxing. Yet, don’t you worry, I always find some way to make a fool of myself –

Telling you folks, I do these things for you. So… pretty much you are welcome (It’s just what I tell myself so I can enjoy these moments that much more) ha

THURSDAY:

Like usual, we had practice in the evening, and our practice attire was our all black kit. Here in Norway, we have three different practice uniforms. Each day, we have a different combination to wear and if we do not get it right, we receive something called a Prikk (a fine)! We also get fined for leaving anything behind or forgetting things to practice (i.e. water bottle)

One attire aka one of dad’s “action shots” ha

This Thursday, my black practice jersey was dirty, and my only option was a Nike dri fit underneath my jacket.  Meaning, I was practicing in pants and a jacket, and my body was covered from neck to toe = SMALTERING! Luckily for me, it was ALSO the hardest practice to date . . . . . . . . NOT

I know the reasonable thing would have been to flip a black shirt inside out, wear a smelly one, or take the fine.  . . . . nope, can’t do it – reasons being:

1)    I take pride in not being fined yet.

2)   One of my biggest pet peeves is having BO. Not saying that it has EVER happened to me. Literally the thought of that smell makes me gag!

3)   I did not think it was going to be such a hard practice. Should of figured with us having the weekend off… ooooops

At one point I literally had steam coming from my head. The girls later informed me that they were actually contemplating throwing some water on me. Gosh am I happy they did not. Walking in 20 degrees weather with your hair wet is NOT fun.

After an eternity, practice was finished, and I ripped (exaggeration, like usual) off my jacket.

Side Note: My dri fit was actually a cut off AND contrary to belief, cut offs are actually made specifically for women playing soccer in foreign countries! It’s like an written rule, ya know. Like washing your hands after you go the bathroom ;p

Come on, when else am I going to wear it?!? Needless to say, all the girls started laughing and making fun as I cooled down.

Tool bagish, maybe……… necessary, ABSOLUTELY

FRIDAY:

Have any of you heard about Zumba (Click below for an idea)?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-myAVlxWBGs&feature=related

With us having the weekend off, one of my teammates and I thought it would be the perfect chance to try it.

We had to get there a half n hour early, other wise we wouldn’t have gotten a spot, which put us in perfect time for the 30 minutes abs class aka the class of immense pain!!!

As we walk in, we think that we will fly through both workouts; man were we wrong. The abs were some of the hardest things I have done in my life (Red Stars – it was even harder than our Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Fears workout. Not kidding).

I still do not know what was more embarrassing, getting shown up by a handful of 50 plus year old women with the abs or the next hour of Zumba ;/

Before I admit what happened in the following dreadful hour, you have to remember they speak a DIFFERENT language here!

The class begins (takes me about 10 minutes to be able to stand up straight from the abs) and I am slowly finding my grooooooove. The steps are pretty easy and I can follow the teacher by just watching her. I am feeling the beat, you know, nodding my head, bouncing the shoulders, maybe a couple kicks here an there.

Yet, two songs in we start to pick up the pace. We literally went from Frank Sinatra speed to Shakira. I was so bad! By the time I got one dance move down, la maestra (teacher) was already onto the next. What the heck!!

For example:

Just as I begin to master the side-to-side shuffle/spin step, the instructor would say something. I think she is saying, “good job” or “move your hands/feet one-way.” However, of course, she is giving them directions to change in one or two side shuffles. There I am, trying to stay in sync and as I side shuffle right, everyone immediately comes left, and I ultimately end up running into the 3 elderly women around me. Every time I managed to hit all three women besides me, still not sure how I did it.

I not only stuck out for repeatedly disturbing the routines of the dances but also because my teammate and I were a good 30 years younger than everyone else.

I am still laughing at some of the expressions and eye rolling I received from the 60 older women. I mean holy cow, seriously?!?! I got served….

Good news: This Friday is a new day!!! Ha

My buddies

SUNDAY:

“I use these for acid indigestion” Jake

“So what are we gonna use these for?!?”  Teammate

“INTIMIDATION” Jake

Everyone has to remember this part of Little Giants. It takes place moments before they are about to take on the Cowboys, the best team in the league.

Well that scene is exactly how I felt this Sunday.

I don’t know how I exactly ended up in a room with 2o of the best grown, grown men club coaches in the area, yet there I was.  Sunday morning, 8 am, trying to smush myself into the back corner so they would not eat me alive (dramatization, duh) ha

Okay, I do remember agreeing to help out one of the Academy coach’s with identifying some “local” talent, but that’s it. I did not understand that I was about to get taught a lesson on just how important soccer is here.

Like I mentioned above, I not only found myself in the room with 20 of the best coaches/scouts around Lillestrom but was the only girl and significantly younger. To make matters worse, I even raised my hand at one point because I thought the main guy was introducing me. He was really just saying that I was going to walking around scouting. Lets just say, I was happy that I did not understand Norwegian that day.

For the next two hours I sat on top of freezing cold bleachers writing down who I thought the best 12-year boy soccer players were. I proceeded to find out that this is something that only happens once a year. That the “good ones” would get called into the different professional team academies and literally change their life!

12 years old, seriously?!? When I was 12 I was still learning how to put my hair in other ways than a ponytail. Granted, I did not know how to put my hair up until I was 11 and another two years after that to figure out I did NOT have to violently flip my whole upper body upside down to do it ha.

No wonder, the Norwegians and every other foreign country is a step ahead of us with footy. Just look at the Academy boys. As soon as they get noticed, they are moved to a special “athletic” high school where there practice time is schedule into their class schedule.

To think a practice or going to the gym could be in a high school curriculum?!? So cool ha, I know, I can only dream. Can you imagine how good we would be at different sports if that were the case for us?

Mind baffling huh?!  That’s not even mentioning that their best athletes are soccer players. Imagine if we had the Hester’s as forwards or  wingers? Or better yet, the Urlacher’s as a center backs? Think about the possibilities of our World Cup outcome! My bet is that we would have gotten that last bit of luck to move onto the next round.

Summary:

Anyone want to send me some indigestion tablets?!? Think  I am signed up to do the same thing this weekend. (Gulp)

Have a great week folks, HAPPY HALLOWEEN from all of the Masar’s. Especially the cutest darn Monkey in the world!!! 😀

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